Understanding the Transgender with Love

Updated: Dec 17, 2020

There is this misconception that sexual desires and sexuality are related to the external genital organs. In the past century and at the advent of this century, new research has proved that it is the brain and the mind which decides which sex one belongs to and what is his/her sexual drives, needs, and emotions.

Sex and sexuality is a very personal matter, albeit not to be kept hidden.

Sex & Sexuality

Sex and sexuality is a very personal matter, albeit not to be kept hidden. An open discussion and understanding of sex and related issues will clear a lot of fogs surrounding the notions and the related self-made theories of an individual, a society, or a group at large.

When a baby is born to a parent, nobody knows that he or she is born with all the “normality” considered to be the perfect baby. A baby is a baby and no matter what, parents will love it. Baby knows that I am being loved and taken care of. There is no choice to get a certain design of baby, except the genes we are giving to it.

Concerning the sex, new-born sex is decided by the external genitalia, if everything is normal. People must understand the difference between a defect in sexual organs, at birth or developing later in life, and the sexuality, change of sex, or sexual desires, for the former is an abnormality and the latter is not.

Chromosomal Abnormalities

There are two very common and well-known chromosomal abnormalities with which a baby can be born, viz. Klinefelter's and Turner syndrome

Klienfelter’s Syndrome

Each human cell has got 46 numbers of chromosomes or 22-pair of autosomes and 1-pair of sex chromosomes. Males will have two different sex chromosomes, i.e. 1 X and 1 Y. While, females will have 2 X chromosomes. Half of these chromosomes are coming from each parent.

At the time of fertilization, due to chromosomal disjunction happened in one of the gametes, the male embryo will get an additional X chromosome from his dad or mum and that’s how the number of chromosomes in each cell will be 47 with an extra X chromosome, i.e. XXY and thus will develop Klinefelter's syndrome or KS. Older mothers have an increased chance of having a baby with KS.

The abnormality will go undetected as a “normal” boy is born with a penis and visible scrotum.

The abnormality will go undetected as a “normal” boy is born with a penis and visible scrotum. The boys will, later in life, have poor testicular development, weaker muscles, breast development (gynecomastia), and increased height as compared to his peers. Parents will take their son to the doctor near the time of puberty when they will see stunted sexual development.

Turner Syndrome

It will affect the girl child, and unlike KS, the number of chromosomes is less than 46, 45, or partially 45Xo. At the time of birth, the baby’s hands and feet are swollen, short with a webbed neck, short stature, and low hairlines at the back of the neck. Their intelligence is normal and they may have problems with spatial awareness that may be needed for mathematics. They don’t develop secondary sexual characteristics, i.e. menstruation, breasts, and can’t have children. They may develop diabetes, heart defects, hearing, or visual problems.

Mother’s age does not play a role in it. TS occurs at the later stages of pregnancy and it’s not inherited

Mother’s age does not play a role in it. TS occurs at the later stages of pregnancy and it’s not inherited, or there is no environmental cause of it. Turner syndrome is a chromosomal abnormality in which all X chromosome or part of it is altered.

Adreno-genital Syndrome

Adreno-genital Syndrome also known as Congenital Androgen Hyperplasia (CAH) is a group of rare inherited autosomal recessive disorders in which from each parent the offspring will get an abnormal gene that results in the deficiency of an enzyme in making of a specific hormone.

CAH affects the adrenal glands which are located at the top of each kidney. Normally, they produce three different hormones:

Corticosteroids: Those gauge the body response to illness and injury

Mineralocorticoids: This regulates salt and water.

Androgens: These are male sex hormones.

An enzyme deficiency will make the body unable to produce one or more of these hormones, which in turn will result in the overproduction of another type of hormone precursor to compensate for the loss.

Due to mutation of genes depending on which enzyme is missing female or male may have sometimes abnormal genitals, but their internal reproductive system is normal.

Sexual development is dependent upon the normal release and maintenance of sex hormones.

CAH can be from mild to severe, and medical intervention is needed in the severe cases throughout their lives to regulate their hormones, and surgery to fix the problem with their ambiguous genitals that may lead to infections in girls.

Hormonal Abnormalities

In addition to chromosomal abnormalities that are present at birth, other abnormalities are related to hormones. Sexual development is dependent upon the normal release and maintenance of sex hormones.

When the male child is inside the womb, its testes will produce Testosterone which will not only lead to the descend of the testes but will also close the developing genital duct to make the scrotum and to change the external genitalia towards the male.

If due to any reason, this testosterone surge doesn’t take place, it will lead to a baby with an XY chromosomal pattern (that of a boy) with female external genitalia. The internal sexual organs are all male.

At the time of puberty, somewhere in the brain, researchers believe to be the Pineal gland, awakening occurs, which leads to the release of gonadal stimulating hormones to be released, which will, in turn, stimulate the gonads, and thus sexual maturity starts.

If due to any reason, this does not occur, a perfectly normal boy or a girl will fail to develop sexual maturity and hence needs intervention.

Understand the difference

A few of the defects and abnormalities have been picked just to show the difference between the abnormality and the normality. A defect in the genes, hormones, or anywhere else will lead to a defective male or female.

What is coming in the next paragraphs is to make clear the understanding that other people having no abnormality as such, physical or mental, will have their sexual orientation contrary to their sexual parts. These people are perfectly normal and there is nothing wrong with anything either physical or mental. The brain will determine the sex, not the sexual organs or even the chromosomes.

A lot of research is coming and still a lot more is needed to understand it, but in the meantime, we have to show our full support, respect, and mindful approach to people who are trapped in the “wrong body”.


Society will call them transgender. They have valid sex clarification at the time of birth; boy or girl. They will fully develop into a boy or a girl, according to the sex assigned to them at birth.

When at a certain point in their lives, mostly after puberty or in teens, they started realizing to see themselves as the appositive of the sex assigned to them at birth.

But somewhere deep inside them, they are not comfortable with their genitals assigned by nature and approved by society.

Of course, it’s not an easy transition; they lived all their lives with themselves as to the sex they were born with. They indulged in relationships just like their peers with the appositive sex. They were treated and seen like a boy or a girl and they have taken part in all those activities related to their sex.

But somewhere deep inside them, they are not comfortable with their genitals assigned by nature and approved by society.

Somewhere something is missing. At some point, they discover that they are the opposite of the sex dispensed.

Their brain is the master, and it doesn’t accept those genitals; they can’t identify themselves as the sex assigned to them at birth

If you have not watched it, do not miss it, the movie “The Danish Girl”. The couple was living happily when suddenly the husband, beautifully played by Eddie Redman, started posing as a naked woman for her wife’s painting, and those paintings got top hits. He continued dressing as a woman to promote the painting. Meanwhile, he discovered that he is a she. The ending was sad, as, unfortunately, she died during transiting surgery - this was a true story.

Many stars are coming out of the closet. Like the Matrix movie directors and writers came out as Trans. Famously known as Wachowski’s sisters, but at the time of Matrix, both were Wachowski’s Brothers. Both the sisters, Lily and Luna transited at different times. The elder brother Larry, now Luna, came out as Trans in 2012. After four years the younger brother, Andy, now Lily, too announced a sex change in 2016. Now why they did it? They were famous and rich but were not satisfied with their gender identities.

A couple of years back a young, well-mannered, friendly guy came to live temporarily in our neighborhood. Soon he became more than a neighbor and started mingled with us. He was a bachelor but soon got a girlfriend. They cooked us dinner and they seem like a nice couple. He decided to continue with his project here. But; something happened between the two and they broke-up. He left for his place and the girl was heart-broken; as it happened in most cases.

Eventually, everything came to normal. They both were on good terms now but as friends. Then, the boy suddenly announced that he is a she. As we heard this, we immediately called him (her) to show our support and that we will remain her friends forever. He was happy and was relieved.

For us, it’s just news but for those people, nothing is easy, changing one’s sex when having “proper” genitals and the secondary sexual characters since birth and after puberty. The same was the case with my young neighbor and the rest of the Trans.

Open Discussion

Their brain is the master, and it doesn’t accept those genitals; they can’t identify themselves as the sex assigned to them at birth, later confirmed at their puberty and approved by their peers and society in general. If they wanted to hide, they can find a mate who will easily live with them as a man or a woman; and no one will ever know their identities; so why take that much pain. Everything for them will change. Even if they are accepted with their families and friends, they have to undergo medical treatments, and/or surgery. During all that transition there is a fair chance of dying from any of the treatments. But, they wanted to do it. In The Danish Girl, she tells her doctor, “even if I die on the operation table, I will do it”, and she died on the operation table.

If we can’t understand it then why question as we cannot relate ourselves to it. Our relation has nothing to do with their changing of Sex. Of course, it can come as a shock for any of the family members, friends, acquaintances, employers, etc. But we just have to accept them, and if they are our family or in inner circles, we have to support them dearly. It is their issue and it is not a choice. The better we understand the more we will be supportive. Nothing happens to us or our piece of mind. It’s just the mindset, ego, ignorance, lack of understanding, and intolerance. If you want to blame someone for this, then blame nature, not them.


With the ignorance and ego that we can be identified with our sex as assigned to us at birth, we fail to understand why shouldn’t. Why do they want to change themselves?

Instead of improving our lives and bringing harmony into the society and accepting them, we are talking against Trans, in the name of our right to have an opinion

It reminded me of that time when people used to torch, especially women, found accused of witchcraft. I am sure, even in those times; logic showed that they were not witches, but different. The eyes cannot see what the mind doesn’t know, or should I say, doesn’t want to know.

All they are asking from us is support, acceptance, and a reasonable relationship. Don’t let others take out their fits of anger, rage, inconveniences, ignorance, hatred, failed relationships, and the like on Trans as convenient targets. Try to be human for once, and if you think you cannot accept it then don’t let Trans be the target of your shortcomings or even someone else’s. Who knows your kindness pay you back in the shape of a better relationship with anybody around you.

The Data

According to the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey:

  • Nearly half (46%) of respondents were verbally harassed in the past year because of being transgender.

  • Nearly one in ten (9%) respondents were physically attacked in the past year because of being transgender.

  • Nearly half (47%) of respondents were sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime and one in ten (10%) were sexually assaulted in the past year. In communities of color, these numbers are higher: 53% of Black respondents were sexually assaulted in their lifetime and 13% were sexually assaulted in the last year.

  • 72% of respondents who have done sex work, 65% of respondents who have experienced homelessness, and 61% of respondents with disabilities reported being sexually assaulted in their lifetime.

  • More than half (54%) experienced some form of intimate partner violence, including acts involving coercive control and physical harm.

This data is collected in the United States of America, not from an African or Asian country. I am not talking about the tribes living in those countries that kill Lions to commence with the coming of age ceremony. I am not referring to those nations or countries that killed their women or girls going against the norms.

I am talking about those nations and countries where they pose a question from African and Asian countries of misogyny, female intolerance, and sexual abuse. When such thoughts are prevalent in the US, how come such countries are blamed, whose footsteps these African Asian countries will follow? If you can understand this, then believe me you will also understand why these nations are blocking the development and modern thoughts.

Live and Let Live!








We at vividnstylsh are strong supporters of all LGBTQ community and demand respect for them at the very least. We are learning about this through books, articles, and other tools and as such have no direct contact with any of LGBTQ personnel in a friend or family (except for one encounter with a neighbour), we couldn't understand the language used to describe the situation and emotions. We humbly apologise of the use of wrong wordings and/or reference. If the above article and other related articles have got some wrong or misused words, please advise us to make changes to such words or sentences.

When you are contacting us about the correction, please refer to the specific place in the article and advise us to change or remove words or even the whole sentences. Our response will be quicker than you expect. Thank you very much for all the support being offered.


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